The Magic 8 Ball has all the answers
by Ryan Hess
As I sat at home last night minding my own business an object from across the room beckoned me. It was my son’s Magic 8 Ball.
With preseason baseball on the mind, I decided to put this enchanted globe to the test.
“Oh Magic 8 Ball, will the Toronto Blue Jays win the wild card this year?” Shake, shake, shake…
“My reply is no”, revealed the sorcerous orb.
Hmm. Perhaps that was a softball… too easy. But optimism remained. I asked again,
“Oh Magic 8 Ball will the Toronto Blue Jays win the division?” Shake, shake, shake…
Without hesitating, “It is decidedly so.”
The ball does not lie! I may have tinkled myself a little there.
My heart was making its way from my chest into my throat as I asked, “Magic 8 Ball, (gulp) will the Toronto blue Jays win the World Series?”
I quickly looked away and squeezed my eyes shut. Shake, shake, shake…
There was no indecision… no uncertainty…
“Odds are 7.5 to 1”
OK, so those are the Vegas odds, not the 8 Ball odds. Vegas has the Blue Jays favored to win the 2013 World Series. The only problem is they have to play the games.
Fact is the Blue Jays have bolstered their payroll from an estimated $84 million in 2012, to beyond $125 million this season.
Their off-season grabs will make you salivate. How’s this for a potential starting lineup:
1. Jose Reyes (SS)
2. Melky Cabrera (OF)
3. Jose Bautista (OF)
4. Edwin Encarnacion (DH)
5. Brett Lawrie (3B)
6. Colby Rasmus (OF)
7. Adam Lind (1B)
8. J.P. Arencibia (C)
9. Emilio Bonifacio (2B)
Does that wiggle your toes?
Absorb this starting rotation (w/2012 E.R.A.)
1. R.A. Dickey 2.75
2. Josh Johnson 3.34
3. Brandon Morrow 3.55
4. Mark Buehrle 3.88
5. Ricky Romero 4.54
Yes, Jays fans, it’s gonna be a Magic (8 Ball) Season.
It Is Decidedly So.