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HTTN Panel: What Do Tiger Woods, Sidney Crosby & Brooklyn Decker Have in Common?
Written on August 13, 2010 at 00:47, by HTTN
The 6th edition of the HTTN Panel is finally here. Today’s topic: sports!
Ok, there’s no overwhelming sports story that we wanted to focus on this week, so we attacked a bunch of issues – from Tiger Woods’ long slump, to the Blue Jays’ hot streak, to Sidney Crosby’s birthday celebration. We worked hard and covered a lot for you. Enjoy!
To see the panelists’ biographies, click here and here.
HTTN Panel: Tiger Woods, Sidney Crosby, Brooklyn Decker…
HTTN: When Ilya Kovalchuk’s contract was rejected by the NHL, who do you think was the first person he called, and what did he say?
Greg: He called Russia, the country, and said, “Пришлите мне Водка быстро!” (click here for Google translation)
Glen: He called Lou Lamoriello and said: “Hey, at least we tried! See you when the Devils come to L.A., Lou.”
Anders: His wife… but she didn’t pick up because she just left him.
HTTN: What does Tiger Woods need to do to recover from the huge slump he is in?
Greg: Maybe a slump-buster? If not (it might go against his rehab)…perhaps he should start drinking on the course. That always loosens me up. Then again, my handicap is 30… from the women’s tees.
Anders: He actually won quite a bit while being the most scandalous person on the planet. Maybe a Tiger Woods style slump-buster wouldn’t be a bad idea – meaning 20 girls in 5 days.
Glen: Yes! He’s gotta put his huge slump in some Vegas dancer.
HTTN: Are the Toronto Blue Jays capable of a Colorado Rockies type “Cinderella story” comeback this season?
Glen: Toronto’s in a much tougher division than Colorado, so no. But they are the most exciting team in baseball right now.
Greg: Sure… exciting… being the most exciting team in baseball is like being the most exciting member of your school’s chess team. What a waste of time. I’d rather watch “Shaq vs.” and see him challenge the National Spelling Bee Champion.
Anders: Nope – they will finish .500 – story of their lives.
HTTN: Canada’s soccer team has slipped to being ranked 101st in the world. How is it possible that Canada is so bad at the world’s most popular sport?
Greg: Canadians are not good at diving, except for Sean Avery… maybe we should have a soccer team full of Avery’s?
Glen: Simple answer: we’re only good at sports that are played with sticks and tiny black pieces of vulcanized rubber. Too bad there aren’t any others.
Saj: Why would Canada focus its funding and resources on a sport that people only pay attention to every 4 years? Unlike Europeans, we have better things to do.
HTTN: Sidney Crosby celebrated his 23rd birthday on Saturday night. Reports say he “took it easy” and stayed at home with his family. What do you think he really did?
Saj: Isn’t he from the Maritimes? He probably watched Anne of Green Gables
and played the fiddle all night.
Greg: Probably all-you-can-eat sushi… maybe followed with some 5-pin bowling and Yahtzee? Oh wait, he’s not as lame as me. FML
Glen: He did what he has done every night since he moved out of the Lemieux household – hugged his Mario Lemieux bobblehead to sleep.
HTTN: Andy Roddick pulled out of the Rogers Cup due to “illness”. What do you suppose is the real reason he’s out?
Greg: Brooklyn Decker or Toronto – which would you choose?
Saj: His cable bill went up and so he decided to boycott Rogers until they throw in the ethnic channels for free. I’ve heard he’s a big Bollywood fan.
Glen: Andy Roddick… yawn.
- to see HTTN Panel post #5: Kovalchuk’s New Deal click here
- to see HTTN Panel post #4: World Cup Edition click here
- to see HTTN Panel post #3: Pronger and Co. click here
- to see HTTN Panel post #2: NHL Finals Preview click here
- to see HTTN Panel post #1: NHL Conference Finals click here
